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21件盗贼不会告诉你的事情 21 Things a Burglar Won't Tell You

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.有时,我会随身携带一个写字板;有时,我会乔装打扮成拿着耙的草坪清洁员:反正我不会以一个标准的盗贼模样出现在你眼前。

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.我最讨厌的两个东西:狂吠的狗和爱管闲事的邻居

3. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.我会从打破你的窗口进入室内,即使可能这会有一点声音。如果你的邻居听到一声巨响,他会停下手头事情,听听会不会还有动静。如果他听不到了,他就会继续做自己的事情:这是人之天性。

4. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?我不是向你抱怨,但为什么你花大笔钱买了个高级报警系统,但在离开家的时候不把它设置好呢?

5. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.我太喜欢透过窗户看你的室内了。我会寻找你在家的迹象,当然也看看有没有我想要的纯平液晶电视或者游戏系统。晚上我就会悄悄地“登堂入室”了,而在你关上百叶窗之前我只选定我的窃取目标。

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.别傻呼呼地在你的Facebook上发布你的假期计划,别以为盗贼没文化。并且你以为我找不到你的地址啊,小菜一碟!

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.白天你把窗户打开一点,对你来说是想让新鲜空气进来,对我来说这是发出的邀请,哈哈。

8. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.当然我看起来很熟悉。不就是在上周,我刚刚清理过你的地毯,粉刷过你的百叶窗,或者给你送新冰箱。

9. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.嘿,上周我在你的院子里干活的时候,多谢你让我用你的浴室洗澡。当我在那的时候,我悄悄打开后窗插销,以便以晚些时候再次造访。

10. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste … and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.喜欢你在阳台上种的花。它们告诉我你的爱好...爱好呢,就意味着这里面就有好东西,哈哈。甚至你的小孩子随意乱放在院子里的小玩意都能告诉我你们在玩什么游戏系统。

11. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it. 是的,我会看看谁家的门前车道上叠放着报纸。同时我可能会留下你家前门一张匹萨传单,试探下多长时间后你才拿掉它。

12. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway. 下雪时,如果你要外出,让邻居制造些去你家的车痕和脚印。在车道上一点痕迹都没有,嘿嘿,就把你外出的事情泄漏了。

13. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy.如果你喜欢在前门上用一些装饰性的玻璃,就别让警报公司把控制板安装在我能看到的地方,不然嘿嘿,警报器我见多了,设置起来还不简单?

14. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom—and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.一个好的安全公司会把报警器装在水槽上的窗户上。通常进入主人卧室的第二扇门最好也得注意下,万一你在卧室里放有珍珠项链贵重物品的话,最好这里也装个报警器。

15. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door—understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.外边如果在下雨,你的雨伞之前随便放了一个地方,这时你可能就会在找到伞之后忘记锁门了——明白了吗?别以为我因为坏天气就休息了。

16. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)我总会首先敲你们家门的。如果你答应了,我会向你询问某个地方怎么走,或者主动清理你们家的排水沟。不要上我的当喔~

17. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

18 Here’s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids’ rooms.这点别人我都不告诉他:我几乎不会进入一个小孩子的房间。

19. You’re right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take it with me.你想得很对:我不会有足够的时间去打开你放着贵重物品的保险箱。但是如果保险箱没有固定在地上或者墙上,我就会把保险箱带走(别以为我扛不动喔~)。

20. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television.把电视或者收音机开大声,会比最好的警报系统更具有震慑作用。如果你不情愿在外出的时候,让你的电视总是开着,你可以买一个35美元的装置,它会按照定时器而工作,产生真实电视闪烁的效果。

21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.当我敲你们家门你不答应时,我就会从门口进去了。偶尔,我会中头彩而直接堂而皇之地进去。

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